Every day, women are dying—and no one is paying attention.
We hear about women, particularly mothers—whether single, married, or divorced—succumbing to sudden, untimely deaths due to terminal or chronic illnesses, avoidable accidents, or suicide. These outcomes often stem from the burdens they carry relationships, household responsibilities, childcare, and income generation.
When these tragedies occur, we offer condolences, praise the men for their strength in coping with the loss, and move on. But we never confront the real, underlying issues.
This reaction, this societal mindset, is what kills women.
When these women die, they leave behind a legacy of heartache, traumatized children, and grieving family members. Their absence creates a void that’s rarely filled, leading to severe consequences for families, society, and the economy.
I have heard people say: “I wish I knew she was suffering this badly,” or “She should have reached out.” But if you did know—what would you have done? Would you have helped her? Would you have prevented this?
A Conversation That Hit Home
A few weeks ago, a heartfelt conversation with a friend underscored the urgency of this matter. During a playdate, I asked her about work and life. She admitted she’d been struggling mentally while caring for her special needs son alone. Though she’d placed him in a special needs school, she needed to leave work early to pick him up.
She requested to work half-days from the office, a reasonable accommodation. Her manager initially approved the request—then revoked it a week later. The reason? Her colleagues complained about the “preferential treatment.” Her manager said, “If everyone asked for accommodations, we couldn’t uphold the hybrid work policy.” The manager suggested medical leave instead.
I wasn’t surprised—but I was flabbergasted.
The Story Too Many of Us Know
I know this story. As an immigrant woman with a small social circle, I’ve struggled with raising neurodiverse children while battling my own health issues. I couldn’t wallow in pain or self-pity because my children’s care rested solely on me, all while navigating a contentious divorce and an absent co-parent.
Every hospital or doctor visit required paying a sitter. When I couldn’t afford it, I stayed home and nursed myself. Surgeries were postponed. Emergency room visits were ignored.
But the hardest part? I couldn’t share my struggles. Like my friend, when I confided in a female manager about my mental health, I was immediately targeted as a “non-performer.” Mistakes that were overlooked in others became amplified and alluded to my mental state—despite having recently delivered a major project on time and on budget.
Why do we only pay attention when women are at the brink of tragedy—or have already succumbed to it?
The Societal Burden on Women
Societal norms place disproportionate caregiving and household responsibilities on women, causing immense stress. The World Health Organization highlights that long working hours and limited autonomy contribute significantly to mental health issues—issues exacerbated for women due to these societal pressures.
How many countless women are suffering silently? How many are invisible, neglected, and unsupported?
Discounting Women’s Struggles
Even when prominent women speak out, society dismisses them. Kim Kardashian recently shared her struggles with parenting four children alone. Any mother knows this is a cry for help. Yet her story was discounted as “attention-seeking” because she is wealthy and privileged.
This dismissal is dangerous. When we ignore high-profile women who spotlight these struggles, we perpetuate a mindset that disregards the pain of all women.
Workplace Challenges and Mental Health
For many women, the workplace is a lifeline: financial independence, creative fulfillment, social support, and access to healthcare. But the workplace can also be a minefield of mental stress and crises.
A study by the American Psychological Association found that 43% of employees fear disclosing a mental health condition because it might harm their careers. Women face this stigma disproportionately, especially when dealing with parenting crises or burnout.
Women in these situations receive minimal support—or worse, are punished. Workplace politics require women to do more to prove their worth, regardless of personal challenges.
Inflexible workplace policies make it worse. While organizations tout inclusive cultures, these promises often fail when leaders lack empathy and understanding. My friend’s situation highlights this: She carefully chose a “progressive” workplace—only to find herself unsupported, again.
Minority Women and Systemic Neglect
The challenges are even starker for women in minority communities, particularly Black and Hispanic women. These women are more likely to be single parents, working low-income jobs with little family support.
When children in these communities struggle, we blame absent parents—but fail to hold those parents accountable. We jail individuals for unpaid child support but don’t enforce parenting plans.
Workplaces fail these women, too. They are forced out of their jobs due to failing health, then they lose income and health insurance, pushing them further into crisis.
Even social support systems fall short. Parenting groups offer virtual spaces to vent frustrations but fail to provide physical, tangible support when women need it most. After my friend and I spoke, we went home to unchanged situations. We shared ideas—but had no time or capacity to act on them.
How can we meet women at their place and time of need—regardless of their financial or social status?
A Call for Action: What If We Did More?
Imagine a world where:
- We volunteer to help struggling women by bringing a meal, picking up groceries, helping with school drop-offs, or completing household projects.
- Workplace policies accommodate women without prejudice.
- Leadership development requires global exposure to foster empathy and inclusive management.
An organization I worked for required leaders to complete a 3–5 year global rotational assignment in developing countries. This experience cultivated a sensitivity and understanding of people’s struggles. I thrived in that environment because my leaders got it.
It’s Time to Pay Attention
We need to pay attention to the challenges women face. Organizations must stay true to their inclusive values and ensure leaders are empathetic and prepared to support women.
This is not a simplistic view of a complex issue—but fostering open dialogue, implementing direct support practices, and holding leaders accountable can make a difference.
Maybe—just maybe—if we all paid attention, fewer women would die under the crushing weight of silence, neglect, and invisible burdens.
Let’s not wait for another tragic ending. The time to act is now.
Your Voice Matters
If this resonates with you, share your thoughts. Leave a comment. Share posts like this. Subscribe to the Ms. Normal newsletter for more unfiltered stories of survival, resilience, and empowerment. Together, we can turn these tragedies into catalysts for change.
Because when we pay attention, we can start rewriting the endings.